When our bodies take an unexpected turn, much goes with it from a spiritual state to a mental state. Especially when it comes to how we feel about ourselves and how we look.
I have full reality on that.
Is it shallow or vain to have any attention on how one looks while trying not to die from a deadly disease? That really is a matter of personal opinion. IMO, NO. It is not. Why? Because for me, that was one way I kept my spirit up. I put on makeup when I felt the ugliest I ever had, and it made me feel fricken pretty again. Even if for a very brief moment.
If you haven’t ever been through this, I don’t expect you to understand. I actually hope you won’t know what it is like. Ever. It’s not a place I would wish on anyone. If you have and are currently going through this, I hope this blog gives you understanding and some relief. I know what you’re going through.
It’s being told I had Leukaemia on my 41st birthday and possibly have only 24 hours before the cells get very volatile and shoot up to my brain. It’s changing so unbelievably dramatically in less than two weeks to having hair, living life normally, being a friend and main person in my 3-year-old daughters’ life, her number one female figure, to all-of-a-sudden not being around at all. Then out of the blue looking skin and bones with no hair. Coupled with not able to walk properly let alone get up much from lying. The extremely intense and harsh treatments caused this as well.
It’s having my life convert in a flash from being this progressive, vibrant, full of life entrepreneur, ready to grow my self and my life to then living to not die so I can somehow have a life again. And above all, my daughter still have her Mother.
I obviously lost all sense of beauty during this time. There were days I just wanted to know what it felt like to feel beautiful again. I couldn’t access it at all. The intensity of the drugs, the ongoing doses of chemo and very high doses of pain killers also contributed.
Once I realized I was spared however, and it actually felt like a full-on universal effort to help me not leave this life yet, with God, family and friends so there for me. I started to see things really differently. My whole sense of self, people, love, kindness and beauty totally changed.
When the body is down and out, what is actually left to carry one through? The spirit.
I actually started to see a different kind of beauty in others. Even more so, in myself. That’s exactly where and when I saw what makeup really does for us. That its role is there to compliment our spirits that exude from this shell of a body we utilize. It’s fun. Like the hot pink sweater I like to sport sometimes, I like a hot pink lipstick to sweater my lips.
You see, beauty isn’t a physical thing for me (anymore…) It’s a result. A manifestation, or occurrence from something that is creating it. When we look at something we consider to be beautiful, we get this feeling/physical sensation that our bodies manifest from the onset of its creation. It makes us feel AMAZING. That is beauty. The real pixie dust.
Some of these makeup looks these days don’t give me that sensation of beauty. They just look like masks to me. Which can be playful and fun, but not a good feeling as It’s being sold to seem like this is “beautiful” when it truly isn’t. It’s a mask. Sure, the artistry is very sharp and precise and colour creative. However, the pressure to look like that on a daily level isn’t beautiful. But, interesting. To each their own though.
THE CHANGE:
August 19th, 2017
October 17th, 2017
EVERYTHING changed in me and of me. My skin colour was different. My nose and cheeks were looking different structurally.
There were days I felt like I was in my 90’s. Prior to all, I felt like I was in my 20’s.
So, what is it about beauty during illness?
Don’t stop making yourself feel beautiful.
How ever you can create that vibe, that sense of beauty wavelength, do it. Whether it’s a warm bath with a drop of lavender, or whatever you like. Whether it’s popping on some blush and a bold lipstick, DO IT!
You are so worth it any given day, no matter what’s going on in your life. No, you don’t have to go out of the house to put on makeup. You can wear it for you. (Only if you’re up for taking it off later, lol! Another upcoming blog on the joy of removing your makeup!)
No, you don’t have to have a special occasion to pamper yourself. Just do it. You are your best friend. Take care of YOU and create your own sense of beauty.
V.S.
Jolie-Laide Cosmetics