My daughter began to want to play with makeup around the age of three.
She would say, “Mummy, can I have some?” Batting big brown puppy dog eyes with long lashes.
I would reply, “Uh well, umm when you are older baby.”
Realizing I’m a hypocrite since I tried on my first red lipstick at three! Insert mom-shame-guilt. So, I would give in and say, “Ok, baby, you can have some of mommy’s light gloss. Just a little, though.”
“Yay!” She would scream.
Oh boy… so, it begins – the development of her image completely influenced by me, her first mentor, MOMMY.
Since my munchkin is about-to-be five-years-old, I have a strong desire to make sure she grows up with a sense of what I believe makes a woman beautiful. It is even more important to me as she almost lost me in 2017.
How my daughter sees herself, regardless of the onslaught of questionable images of what’s considered “beautiful” or attractive of a female in the mainstream, means HEAPS to me. And how I contribute or not to that also is so important to me.
What my daughter sees in how I carry and take care of myself, as that’s her bedrock of acquiring an idea of self-image and viewpoint of beauty, is also really important to me.
But let’s back up for a second.
WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT BEAUTY GROWING UP
Having been born and raised in a culture that takes much pride and does much work to maintain beauty, East-Indian, that is, I always had the idea of it at the forefront of my mind and life. The “importance” of it, if you will… Plus, I just always LOVED makeup.
As a first-generation Canadian with first-world/modern world experience and indoctrination, I have acquired some conflicting and eye-opening realizations of what should be and has been cast as “beauty”-no pun intended lol. (i.e. The Indian Caste system…. Having a strong awareness of it even though we weren’t directly raised with it.).
From my training and various experiences as a young contemporary dancer to experiencing racism in my childhood. To then being in high school and choosing to study the works of pioneering activist Jean Kilbourne. I’ve had many opportunities to acquire the viewpoint I now have—big up Jean Kilbourne.
Interestingly enough, when I was in grade 11, training with a junior dance program, I did this solo modern dance piece choreographed by one of my mentors at the time. It was purely about the pressures of looking beautiful, maintaining our beauty and our weight. That was my foundation. Throughout it all, though, I still loved makeup and had fun with it.
SO, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE BEAUTIFUL?
It’s a very different thing to feel beautiful than to focus on always trying to look beautiful. The viewpoint from you vs. from the viewpoint of others.
However, there’s the crux, isn’t it? We don’t walk around holding mirrors to our face and then have no idea when that piece of broccoli is stuck between our teeth unless somebody else says something. Although, we do have our phones and selfie sticks now (lol). However, I was not brought up with cell phones (being a Generation X and all).
For most of my life, I was into “natural beauty.” Minimal makeup, but ALWAYS lipstick, eyeliner, mascara, and blush. Ha-ha, so funny… I didn’t dive into eye makeup or foundation because most of what I observed from those who wore it (at the time) looked to alter their looks. Especially the “copy-and-paste” face, as I like to call it. AKA, the very wrong foundation shade.
In 2014, while I was in my third trimester with my little one, I entered a world of cosmetics and training that I hadn’t had before. Of course, I already knew much from my life experiences and interests, but this really refined some things.
What opened my eyes was the ongoing experiences and info I would gather from many women I would meet as either potential clients or my colleagues. The ages and cultures of all on my path varied fully and continue to do so. From children to seniors. Every color under the “Benetton” sun (lol). Every skin type.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ENHANCING AND ALTERING
The ongoing trends to alter oneself is also the inspiration for this blog and what I want my daughter to understand about beauty.
Makeup is fun. Makeup is to enhance. When it comes to altering, that’s great for stage, screen, artistic expressions, photoshoots, or helping with scars or physical alterations that occurred.
I’ve met tons of women over the past five years who don’t want that. And I don’t blame them. A person shouldn’t be made to feel that their lips aren’t “big enough,” that her cheekbones aren’t protruding enough. I never want my daughter to think because she doesn’t have this or that or like the girl in the latest mag, that she isn’t enough in any way.
Some would argue, “Oh, that’s just human nature not to be happy with what we have, etc.” Sorry, no. It’s acquired thought borne out of the ongoing agreement that “this or that” is what beauty is. Just like our personalities differ and no person is superior to the next, so is our beauty. It is a representation of who we are as individuals. I love helping people acknowledge that about themselves and fearlessly presenting that to the world.
At the end of the day, what I want my daughter to know is that beauty is a matter of viewpoint. She should never feel that she has to live up to some singular idea or human-made standard of perfection in how she looks. No one does.
V. Smart
Certified Makeup Artist
Founder/Owner Jolie-Laide Cosmetics